Ready to let it out
I know it has been a long time since my last post but I am about to spill my guts to tell you why. All my life I have suffered a degree of depression. I have had a condition called Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder which causes me to be more depressed during different seasons, primarily the winter months. Well the truth is that this year has been really hard for me. With the death of Aaron, financial instability, living at my dad's, having a baby, and basic life, I have become overwhelmed and have decided to seek professional help. I had my first visit today and was diagnosed with severe depression. I am not telling you this so that you will feel sorry for me, I am only telling you so that you may understand why I have been so irritable and shady to some of you. If I have been rude or neglectful to any of you I just want to say that I am sorry and that I have realized now that I need a big change in my life. This is not about whining about my life. I am sick and I have gotten to the point of helplessness. I hope that by reading this you will understand that I am being more real now than I have ever been. I am sick of hiding how I really feel and am ready to put my hurt out in the open. It is the only way that I will ever get better. For those of you who truely care about me, you know what this post really means and you have probably seen it coming for quite some time. For those who do not understand, please just leave me in peace to work though my problems. This does not concern you.
posted by Reese Family Values @ 8:56 PM
4 Comments:
P.S. I have told you all probably a little more than I am completely comfortable with so please don't make a field day out of this!I expect that you will all respect that.
I'm really glad you decided that your feelings were not right, and instead of doing something stupid, you decided to seek help. That decision alone must have been very difficult. Congratulations on making the FIRST step! You know, the whole time I've known you, you've always made sure everyone else was okay and taken care of... your brother and sister, your dad, DC, and especially Ali.... I think you're making a WONDERFUL decision to start taking care of yourself! You deserve it Sam!
I'm glad that you finally posted. Blogs are good outlets for venting you feelings and frustrations (for me at least) I'm glad that you finally did go and get help though. And don't feel funny about telling us about those feelings because talking about your problems helps a lot.
hugs n kisses
I've already personally talked to you about all this and you know I'm always here for you through thick and thin. It will get better. I know it doesn't seem like it now but take it a day at a time and take care of yourself and let others too!
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